time

It is very difficult to slow down time. To increase the counts between heartbeats. So many seem to constantly be seeking ways to quicken the pace, to get life to open up under the strain of the pressure of speed. I just want to be able to sit and listen to a whole piece of music, instead of listening to half a song haphazardly and unfocused before moving on to a new song. I can’t hold on to anything. Not in a grabby way, but things seem to slip through before I even have an impulse to reach for them.I want to be able to see time stream by like finely breezed fog ribbons.

I feel like I’m jumping from point to point, rather than taking steps. I walk toe to heel, not heel to toe. I make more of an imprint when I walk heel to toe, and the sound of my footsteps are louder. Which I always thought was embarrassing and inconspicuous. Keeping myself off balance was safer.

Now, I want the patience to recognize a full foot on the ground. I want my mind to be clear for one minute, for the headache fog to lift and allow me just a thought that is clarity.
This requires me to slow down time. It’s possible. Put the clock away and turn off the alarm. An extension of minutes. It’s all about breathing.